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Next Project (Lies)

 I've been talking to SJ Games about some writing for them for the near future, and in lieu of saying anything true or interesting about it, I can now announce the falsehood that my next project will be a collaboration with Peter Dell'Orto, GURPS Dungeon Fantasy Locations: Orc Ninja Dungeons of Venice.

As you know, Timmy, Venice is a city built on pilings, landfill, and small islands, all at sea level (or, in times of very rough weather, slightly below). Common belief is that it's essentially impossible to dig down in Venice, since the water table is inches or at best a couple of feet below the surface. However, during from a little after the Fourth Crusade to the 17th century, when Drebbel submarines were used to clear out the tunnels, orc ninja were able to use this as cover. Extensive semi-aquatic dungeons were constructed from the Arsenal to the Rialto, allowing them to pass unseen around the city using snorkels to survive the trip, while painters like Titian and Giorgione were employed to conceal dungeon doorways with paintings of stairways going up so convincingly that Venetians accidentally entered the orc ninja dungeons just thought it was a very humid day. These structures were long believed impossible and were so well hidden that some believe to this very day that they never existed.

Topics we'll be covering include: 

  • the dwarf ninja of Florence and elf ninja of Napoli
  • extended towel rules extending the textile listings from GURPS Dungeon Fantasy Treasures 1
  • Doge vs. dodge scores
  • Clockwork ninja torpedoes for use in flooded tunnels
  • integrating collapsed versions of the San Marco campanile into Felltower campaigns
  • Monster stats for dire turkeys found at the Fondaco dei Turchi
  • extra damage from ice forming around ethnic cool weapons while underwater. 

Also, since a munchkin in RPGs has traditionally been defined as a player who, when making a character for a game about political intrigue in Renaissance Italy, wants to play a ninja, we're looking at a GURPS-Munchkin crossover. Look for it wherever fine vaporware is sold.



Peter D said…
At least you didn't mention the Secret Spongebob Level.

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